Here it is:
Preemptive Memorial Honors Future Victims Of Imminent Dam Disaster
On Monday we did a little finger painting out on our porch. Here are a couple pictures from that:
Anika dove right in with her pointer finger but didn't go all out until the end. Keslie wouldn't have anything to do with it at first but when she finally decided to go for it she really took the plunge. She got paint all over everything. I think that stuff is washable???!
Yesterday was a "nobody likes me, everybody hates me, think I'll eat some worms..." kind of day. Mostly I was just feisty and tired of doing the dishes and feeling like a grouchy mom. Call it PMS or blame it on the drizzly weather - It makes no difference to me! Anika has been acting like a moody teenager all week. In between her tantrums and whining she is the sweetest little angel you will ever meet though. =)
THEN - I've been all worked up about vaccinations (Pretty much a whole other post). Suffice it to say that I wish parents would make educated decisions about getting their children immunized rather than not doing it because of stories they've heard or the "risks" they think they are taking and not ACTUALLY doing the research. I have bunches of studies and articles and ACCURATE stuff about vaccinations. Nathan's learned a ton about it in his medical school portion of dental school too. I think he gets even more worked up about it than I do. I'll have to post my stuff eventually. Can you tell I am PRO Immunizations?? It's a hot topic with me.
THEN - I have been SO confused by the responses I've heard regarding Julie Becks talk at General Conference. Almost everyone I've talked to was bugged or annoyed by it or didn't think she meant it the way it sounded. I just remember loving it. So, I just reread it a few minutes ago and I still just loved it. I think she meant it exactly the way she said it. I think her talk was really motivating and I know I have a long way to go but everything she said goes along with what past and present apostles and prophets have said. Read it or listen to it again - it really is great. I think sometimes our defenses go up when we think someone is telling us how we should be doing something and it isn't exactly how we are doing it or want to be doing it. That doesn't mean that what she said isn't right or good. It's easy to accept the things we agree with - but not so easy when it doesn't match up with what we think. Any thoughts? I spoke my mind - now you speak yours!
I've probably said WAY too much and I will have a FOR REALS "nobody likes me" day tomorrow! I heard on the radio this morning that it boosts our immune system when we share our true feelings. =) So, there you go! My white blood cell count probably just doubled. =)
26 comments:
Hey all! I guess since I started this whole thing I should add in my two cents. =)
I have to admit that I expected more comments from people who didn't like the talk than there have been. Thank you Mindi and Hillary for being willing to contribute and share your comments.
I hope that there haven't been any hurt feelings from this. I want you all to know that it wasn't my intention to cause any discord or to make anyone feel like I was judging. I don't feel like what I posted was judgmental.
I just want to respond to a couple things that have been written. I'm curious as to how long blogger allows comments to be!! I guess we'll see!
First - I want to say that in her talk she isn't saying that we have to be PERFECT. She only uses the term "the best" one or two times in her talk.
These are her words:
Latter-day Saint women should be the very best in the world at upholding, nurturing, and protecting families. I have every confidence that our women will do this and will come to be known as mothers who "knew" (Alma 56:48). In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
She says we SHOULD BE not we ARE or we HAVE to be. I feel sad that so many women were so downtrodden by what she said. I know that a lot of women felt like she was saying we have to be perfect and she wasn't. Like Hillary said, we can't achieve perfection in this life. We just can't. That is why we constantly have to be repenting and just trying to do better. She was telling us how we should be. Our ideal. I read a talk given by L. Tom Perry at the priesthood session of conference. It is called RAISING THE BAR. It's a really good talk and I think it can apply to us as mothers.
Here is a bit from it:
"One evening as I returned home from work, I found Lee practicing his jumping. I asked, “How high is the bar?”
He said, “Five feet, eight inches.”
“Why that height?”
He answered, “You must clear that height to qualify for the state track meet.”
“How are you doing?” I asked.
“I can clear it every time. I haven’t missed.”
My reply: “Let’s raise the bar and see how well you do then.”
He replied, “Then I might miss.”
I queried, “If you don’t raise the bar, how will you ever know your potential?”
So we started moving the bar up to five feet, ten inches; then to six feet; and so on, as he sought to improve. Lee became a better high jumper because he was not content with just clearing the minimum standard. He learned that even if it meant missing, he wanted to keep raising the bar to become the best high jumper he was capable of becoming."
I definitely want to be the mother she was describing in her talk and I think it will be good for me to stretch myself.
Next, I would like to respond to one of Mindi's comments.
First off, I want to say that I have read her talk a few times now and it isn't said once that you have to be a stay at home mom to be a mother who knows. There is nothing about being a stay at home mom in her talk. So, I think that the mom who has to work because of finances or divorce or death or sickness can definitely still be the mom that she is describing. Definitely.
Here is her list of things about Mother's who know:
*Mothers Who Know Honor Sacred Ordinances and Covenants
*Mothers Who Know Are Nurturers
*Mothers Who Know Are Leaders
*Mothers Who Know Are Teachers
*Mothers Who Know Do Less
*Mothers Who Know Stand Strong and Immovable
All of these things can be achieved by a working mom too. And God bless them - I imagine that it would be very hard to be a mom and a working woman at the same time.
As for the woman who can't have children because they just can't or because their husband won't let them or because they aren't married. Well, in her talk she says that:
Mothers who know DESIRE to bear children....Faithful daughters of God desire children... Some women are not given the responsibility of bearing children in mortality, but just as Hannah of the Old Testament prayed fervently for her child (see 1 Samuel 1:11), the value women place on motherhood in this life and the attributes of motherhood they attain here will rise with them in the Resurrection (see D&C 130:18). Women who desire and work toward that blessing in this life are promised they will receive it for all eternity, and eternity is much, much longer than mortality. There is eternal influence and power in motherhood.
So, she says it right there. A woman that is unable to have children shouldn't have felt bad from this talk. I love what she says about eternity being so much longer than this life and that if a woman doesn't have the opportunity in this life to bear children she will get it in the eternities. We just need to have the desire.
I brought this subject up because I was confused by the reactions I was hearing regarding the talk. I was confused because we CAN do this! And most of us already are doing these things. We just feel so inadequate. I think that being a mother is a HARD job. I think that most of the things I have to repent of are mistakes I've made as a mother. I just know that I want to be the best I can. I'm glad that she spoke so frankly to us. I'm glad to have a checklist of ways that I can improve. I am trying not to take it on all at once. Some of it I am SO already on top of and then there are some areas that she spoke about that I am failing miserably in. I just figure that as long as I am working toward being the best and then repenting when I fail that Heavenly Father knows. He knows what is in my heart. He knows how much I love my girls and how much I want to do right by them. He knows that I can't do it alone. I am so thankful for the gospel and for prayer. I'm grateful that I know I can get on my knees and pray and feel comfort and receive guidance. I'm grateful for this talk and others like it that motivate me and remind me that we really ARE living in the last days. That we need to be the best we can so that we can help our children survive spiritually and emotionally. It scares me to think of sending my kids out into the world. I worry about their self-esteems and kid's hurting their feelings. I worry that they are going to be introduced to pornography or drugs. I worry that they are going to be kidnapped or raped. I worry that they are going to get run over or lost. I worry that they aren't going to be understood by their teachers. I worry that they will stray from the church. I worry that they are going to forget what I teach them. I just always want to have a home that invites the spirit and where they feel safe. I think we can all be mother's who know the things that she said. We can.
I'm with Hillary. Definitely question things as long as you are willing to pray and get answers. I agree that that is how we gain our testimonies. I agree also that it isn't our place to judge. I think that the way we treat others and the kindness we show to them is SO important and that it doesn't matter if our opinions are different or if we don't agree with what someone else is doing - we should still be Christlike. I want to thank all of you for your comments. I might delete them all and just start fresh. I hope that is okay with everyone. Feel free to add more. =)
Here is the full Talk:
Mothers Who Know
Julie B. Beck
Relief Society General President
There is eternal influence and power in motherhood.
Julie B. BeckIn the Book of Mormon we read about 2,000 exemplary young men who were exceedingly valiant, courageous, and strong. "Yea, they were men of truth and soberness, for they had been taught to keep the commandments of God and to walk uprightly before him" (Alma 53:21). These faithful young men paid tribute to their mothers. They said, "Our mothers knew it" (Alma 56:48). I would suspect that the mothers of Captain Moroni, Mosiah, Mormon, and other great leaders also knew.
The responsibility mothers have today has never required more vigilance. More than at any time in the history of the world, we need mothers who know. Children are being born into a world where they "wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places" (Ephesians 6:12).1 However, mothers need not fear. When mothers know who they are and who God is and have made covenants with Him, they will have great power and influence for good on their children.
Mothers Who Know Bear Children
Mothers who know desire to bear children. Whereas in many cultures in the world children are "becoming less valued,"2 in the culture of the gospel we still believe in having children. Prophets, seers, and revelators who were sustained at this conference have declared that "God's commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force."3 President Ezra Taft Benson taught that young couples should not postpone having children and that "in the eternal perspective, children—not possessions, not position, not prestige—are our greatest jewels."4
Faithful daughters of God desire children. In the scriptures we read of Eve (see Moses 4:26), Sarah (see Genesis 17:16), Rebekah (see Genesis 24:60), and Mary (see 1 Nephi 11:13–20), who were foreordained to be mothers before children were born to them. Some women are not given the responsibility of bearing children in mortality, but just as Hannah of the Old Testament prayed fervently for her child (see 1 Samuel 1:11), the value women place on motherhood in this life and the attributes of motherhood they attain here will rise with them in the Resurrection (see D&C 130:18). Women who desire and work toward that blessing in this life are promised they will receive it for all eternity, and eternity is much, much longer than mortality. There is eternal influence and power in motherhood.
Mothers Who Know Honor Sacred Ordinances and Covenants
Mothers who know honor sacred ordinances and covenants. I have visited sacrament meetings in some of the poorest places on the earth where mothers have dressed with great care in their Sunday best despite walking for miles on dusty streets and using worn-out public transportation. They bring daughters in clean and ironed dresses with hair brushed to perfection; their sons wear white shirts and ties and have missionary haircuts. These mothers know they are going to sacrament meeting, where covenants are renewed. These mothers have made and honor temple covenants. They know that if they are not pointing their children to the temple, they are not pointing them toward desired eternal goals. These mothers have influence and power.
Mothers Who Know Are Nurturers
Mothers who know are nurturers. This is their special assignment and role under the plan of happiness.5 To nurture means to cultivate, care for, and make grow. Therefore, mothers who know create a climate for spiritual and temporal growth in their homes. Another word for nurturing is homemaking. Homemaking includes cooking, washing clothes and dishes, and keeping an orderly home. Home is where women have the most power and influence; therefore, Latter-day Saint women should be the best homemakers in the world. Working beside children in homemaking tasks creates opportunities to teach and model qualities children should emulate. Nurturing mothers are knowledgeable, but all the education women attain will avail them nothing if they do not have the skill to make a home that creates a climate for spiritual growth. Growth happens best in a "house of order," and women should pattern their homes after the Lord's house (see D&C 109). Nurturing requires organization, patience, love, and work. Helping growth occur through nurturing is truly a powerful and influential role bestowed on women.
Mothers Who Know Are Leaders
Mothers who know are leaders. In equal partnership with their husbands, they lead a great and eternal organization. These mothers plan for the future of their organization. They plan for missions, temple marriages, and education. They plan for prayer, scripture study, and family home evening. Mothers who know build children into future leaders and are the primary examples of what leaders look like. They do not abandon their plan by succumbing to social pressure and worldly models of parenting. These wise mothers who know are selective about their own activities and involvement to conserve their limited strength in order to maximize their influence where it matters most.
Mothers Who Know Are Teachers
Mothers who know are always teachers. Since they are not babysitters, they are never off duty. A well-taught friend told me that he did not learn anything at church that he had not already learned at home. His parents used family scripture study, prayer, family home evening, mealtimes, and other gatherings to teach. Think of the power of our future missionary force if mothers considered their homes as a pre–missionary training center. Then the doctrines of the gospel taught in the MTC would be a review and not a revelation. That is influence; that is power.
Mothers Who Know Do Less
Mothers who know do less. They permit less of what will not bear good fruit eternally. They allow less media in their homes, less distraction, less activity that draws their children away from their home. Mothers who know are willing to live on less and consume less of the world's goods in order to spend more time with their children—more time eating together, more time working together, more time reading together, more time talking, laughing, singing, and exemplifying. These mothers choose carefully and do not try to choose it all. Their goal is to prepare a rising generation of children who will take the gospel of Jesus Christ into the entire world. Their goal is to prepare future fathers and mothers who will be builders of the Lord's kingdom for the next 50 years. That is influence; that is power.
Mothers Who Know Stand Strong and Immovable
Who will prepare this righteous generation of sons and daughters? Latter-day Saint women will do this—women who know and love the Lord and bear testimony of Him, women who are strong and immovable and who do not give up during difficult and discouraging times. We are led by an inspired prophet of God who has called upon the women of the Church to "stand strong and immovable for that which is correct and proper under the plan of the Lord."6 He has asked us to "begin in [our] own homes"7 to teach children the ways of truth.
Latter-day Saint women should be the very best in the world at upholding, nurturing, and protecting families. I have every confidence that our women will do this and will come to be known as mothers who "knew" (Alma 56:48). In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
NOTES
1. See Gordon B. Hinckley, "Standing Strong and Immovable," Worldwide Leadership Training Meeting, Jan. 10, 2004, 21.
2. James E. Faust, "Challenges Facing the Family," Worldwide Leadership Training Meeting, Jan. 10, 2004, 2.
3. "The Family: A Proclamation to the World," Liahona, Oct. 2004, 49; Ensign, Nov. 1995, 102.
4. To the Mothers in Zion (pamphlet, 1987), 3.
5. See "The Family: A Proclamation to the World."
6. Gordon B. Hinckley, Worldwide Leadership Training Meeting, Jan. 10, 2004, 20.
7. Gordon B. Hinckley, Worldwide Leadership Training Meeting, Jan. 10, 2004, 20.
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